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Some 3am reflections on a complicated year

Now, I know the year hasn't ended yet but I keep thinking about how crazy My life has felt throughout the whole year. I struggled with My school for long while, with really bad mental health, and ended up choosing to take a long break from studies and come home.

Finally putting all of My belongings into one location after feeling like My life was split in two places, both feeling temporary. Properly fixing up My other room into a studio/office, getting to unpack My things and put everything in its place. Getting to regrow My little indoor garden and admiring My work. Spending time with My kitties. Actually feeling excited and motivated to create, to make things.

Feeling nervous about My future. Having arguments and conflicting opinions from My family, just trying My best to improve. Trying to make sure I wasn't deluding Myself, in denial or isolating Myself. Trying to be more self aware on what I was doing and why I was doing it.

Taking medicine to get My brain to get its shit together. Taking testing and finding out I have ADHD-I. Seeing that I was indeed very smart but with a huge math disability (Dyscalculia) and My working memory is garbage. Feeling both validated about My struggles in the past because of this, while also being nervous about moving forward.

Hoping that what I'm doing is enough. That I'm not somehow undoing My progress and trying to keep in mind that the journey is not linear.

It's been such a year of a lot of changes. A year of transition, hopefully leading to a happier Me. I've come a long way but I still have a ways to go. I'm not 100% sure where life will take Me but I'll do My best to make the best of whatever comes My way. I think I'm on a good path, and I can't wait to grow.

Well these are My thoughts at 3am contemplating everything that has happened in such a short time. I should probably head to bed now. I hope you also see the positives that have occurred in your life and you continue to strive to move forward and improve.

Now back to taking your minds....

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