Insecurities we develop

It's really crazy how being so in our own heads can cause some insecurities that absolutely no one else cares about or notices. This is something I try to keep in mind even with My own current insecurities, but looking back at what made Me insecure before really highlights this point.


The most ridiculous one that comes to mind was when for about a year, I became self conscious of My knees. For no reason. No one had commented on them, no one made fun of Me for them, absolutely nothing negative happened to cause it. Being so in My own head just caused Me to feel this way.


I thought they looked weird. They had dark scars from a time I fell in heels, as well as My natural hyper pigmentation. I felt like their shape and movement looked weird. I was shy wearing shorts or putting on short skirts.


It took a few months of purposefully making Myself observe how other's knees looked and how absolutely no one was paying attention to Mine to make that insecurity fully go away. To realize just how ridiculous it was in the first place.


Back then I also felt uncomfortable not wearing a sweater around My waist, I just always had it on. Using it to hide parts of Myself I was unsure about. I knew that's why I was doing it and I didn't know how to change. One day two girls from My grade came up to Me and encouraged Me to go without it, telling Me I look better without it.


I wasn't sure if they were trying to be malicious or genuinely helpful, as I hardly ever spoke with them. However that interaction helped Me realize that I didn't need to hide and cover Myself.


Theres a million more examples from throughout the years of insecurities that came and went, just from My own overthinking. Things that no one else took notice of or even really cared about. Things that took conscious effort to train Myself out of.


Some insecurities are more rooted in things that society or others in our lives have made us conscious of and insecure about. But even those are things we can eventually reclaim and even be proud of.


I know I probably can't avoid being completely free of insecurities, there will always be something. But how much I let it affect Me, how I work towards embracing every flaw and imperfection as a part of My perfection is a process that is worth working towards. I know things that bother Me now will bother Me less and less over time as I work at it.

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