top of page

Male submission and shame

*These thoughts are purely My own opinion, and everyone's experiences are different. I'm simply reflecting from conversations I've had with many many people

It's an unfortunate truth that our society (and many around the world) look down on submissive traits in men. So, often in kink, there are so many submissive men who feel ashamed about their submissive nature. They try to hide it, keep it hidden from their partners because they are afraid their partners will be disgusted or ashamed of this submissive nature.

So they try to repress it. Often ending up seeking a domme to express at side of themselves. Some pretend full control in vanilla life while having no escape to let out their subbiness, while other's submission bleeds into their vanilla relationships. They try to help their partner, do things for their partner, serve in more light ways to try to get fulfillment for the need they are repressing.

I know people have their different reasons for hiding kinks from their significant others. Personally I think a balanced relationship doesn't hide those sexual needs, but allows both parties to express submission or dominance without shame. But I know life is messy, and is not black and white. Some people discovered their kinks or submission later in life and others are afraid of being seen as weak.

Whatever the reason, I think men shouldn't be afraid of being submissive. (Unless you're into being humiliated for it I suppose.) It's a shame theres still a notion that men have to be dominant otherwise they are weak, where I feel women aren't as bashed for being sub or dom or both. At least not to the extent many men seem ashamed of what is simply a part of them.

There is nothing wrong with you for being submissive. It does not make you weak. In some cases I think it can make you stronger than those without it. You have a drive to serve someone, to make their life easier and better. You are secure enough to let yourself be vulnerable to someone else. To let them dictate for a while and simply obey. In some dynamics, submission encourages people to take care of themselves, to work harder, to be healthier.

Not everyone can do that. Many vanilla people can't just let go like that, just as many can't just take control. Being wholeheartedly submissive to someone is impressive, and I often admire My own submissives for the strength and drive they find in our own dynamic.

Do not be ashamed. Embrace that part of you and don't let other's opinions stop you from expressing it in healthy safe ways.

Recent Posts

See All

It's 2 am and I've just finished altering a dress My friend bought Me on a whim.

I've been thinking about this a lot recently. I have PCOS, which makes it very easy to gain weight and very hard to lose it. Even with a super "healthy" lifestyle. So something I've been considering i

bottom of page