I've had glasses for most of My life. My first pair was around 3rd grade, I actually still have those glasses in a little memory box. Honestly I hardly ever took them off. My vision kept getting worse and worse throughout the years and not having glasses felt weird. I couldn't see, I could hardly do anything without My glasses.
Getting older and coming into more of a sexual sphere, glasses even became kind of an appealing thing. That kind of seductive/mysterious/librarian look. Especially with My interest in eye fixation hypnosis, being able to have glasses on and off became an asset.
I had glasses for around 15 years or so. It became part of My identity. I couldn't really visualize Myself without it. It wasn't something I could just take off, even with the shitty things that come with glasses (like scratches, broken frames, not being able to wear other glasses) I just couldn't see Myself without them on. I had so many pictures with them on, it felt weird seeing Myself without them.
I had always talked about getting lasik as a possibility in the future, but it was the kind of thing that seemed like it would be further away. I went to get a consultation and the required testing to see if I was even a candidate for the procedure, and they said "Yeah we can even do it this Thursday". A type of procedure that was just lasering the top instead of cutting a flap like normal lasik. Honestly, I panicked. I was not ready for it, I thought it would happen much much later. I was (and still am) going through a period in My life where I am redefining many aspects of Myself. I felt like losing just a big piece of Myself would make Me feel like I didn't know who I was. So I waited, and honestly I'm glad I did. Through taking more and more pictures of Myself without glasses for hypno/kink purposes, I became more used to seeing My face without glasses. It wasn't as jarring as it was before. I fell more in love with how My eyes looked. Appreciated the moments without glasses on, where glare and light refraction didn't interfere with being able to appreciate My eyes.
I used to want blue eyes so badly, but for a few years while being able to take pictures I actually liked of Myself I came to appreciate how pretty My brown eyes were. How deep they seemed, how they reflected and sparkled in the light, how catching the sunlight showed a different shade to them. I enjoyed seeing how others felt captivated by My eyes, how just by looking at them they could go into trance.
Through this appreciation, getting used to the idea and even coming to want it, I was ready. Thinking about doing the procedure didn't make Me panic or feel like I was going to lose part of Myself. I was actually excited. My glasses didn't define Me, and were even starting to annoy Me being dirty and giving Me headaches. I did the consultation again, was still a candidate, and set a date.
I was still nervous as the date arrived, since medical eye related things make Me uncomfortable and anxious. But I felt more confident about doing it all. Now the procedure itself was.... not painful but very very uncomfortable for Me. I had a small panic attack in the middle of it but was able to calm down easily once it was over. I had My family to help Me with the recovery, though I would still be a bit blurry for quite a while until My eyes healed completely. And that is 3 months for complete healing.
The first few days were trickiest in terms of pain, discomfort and medicine but after that it was pretty ok. As of writing this it has been almost two weeks since I had the procedure. I can still see a bit blurry sometimes but for the most part I really can see so much better than before. I find Myself mentally reaching for My glasses, trying to make the world look sharp again but I know that will come with patience and time. I've been taking so many pictures finally without My glasses and being able to SEE what I'm doing. I'm excited to be able to do so many of the things I enjoy without My glasses getting in the way, including hypnosis.
Part of My compromise to Myself when deciding I would do the procedure for sure was allowing Myself to get a pair of glasses with blue light filtering lenses for looking at screens. I can still have a piece of what has been part of My life for so long, without needing it constantly, and even be able to use it aesthetically. Since My heavy prescription is gone, My restrictions on which frames I could use are gone, it feels almost freeing. I don't have these glasses yet, but I'm excited to have them while I leave My last pair of prescription glasses in My memory box with My first pair.
I'm excited to be able to see.