The "right way" to be dominant

Our society likes to attack women and girls for just about anything. Being too feminine, being too masculine, being sexual, not being sexual enough, and too many other bullshit conditions people will judge women for. So you'd think in the space where women are dominant, in control, where women are meant to be in control of their own pleasure that those kind of judgments don't appear.

Ha, nope. Instead, dominant women are told their way of being dominant isn't valid, isn't the "right way". These comments can come from subs as well as other dommes, and they never make any sense. There is the stereotypical view of what a domme or dominatrix is, both in positive and negative lights. Sexy clothing in leather or latex, whips and chains, strict and degrading and always in control 24/7.


What a limited view of what it means to be dominant. BDSM and kink it self are more varied than just the stereotype, of course dommes and dominants in general are varied and unique. There is no one right way to be dominant. There are general guidelines for safety like SSC (Safe, Sane, Consensual) and RACK (Risk Aware Consensual Kink), and other safety bits within each kink. However even those are practiced and interpreted differently by each person.


Theres so many different flavors and styles of femdom (and domination in general). From being gentle and nurturing to strict and degrading, from sexy clothing to casual clothing to nude, multiple subs to one sub, from being a switch to being fully dominant. All of these are valid ways to be dominant.


Your gender identity, your gender expression, your sexuality, the way you dress, your past, your illnesses, your trauma, your vulnerable moments. None of these things make you less dominant. Only you get to decide how you are going to be dominant. And you are allowed to change how you dominate over time.


There is no "right way" to be dominant, to dominate others. Anyone who tries to tell you these things make you less of a dominant is not worth your time. Be safe, communicate with your partner/s, and make sure everyone involved is on the same page. Other than that, dominate however the fuck you want!

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